Planet of The Clocks

We’re all used to our bosses, The Clocks, the masters of our lives who determine when we do everything from sleeping to working to taking THEM PILS. But, now, in a great step forward for Western Civilization, your clock can now quote Bible verses at you!

According to the commercial I saw, this wonder of modern technology not only can wake you up with appropriate commands from JHVH-1, it can keep you from getting sad about news stories about war, and reconcile arguing spouses! IT KNOWS what to say, when! And, according to the commercial as well, minority individuals love it, because of course all Hispanics and African-Americans are Christians!

I assume if Drumpf, GOBBS FORBID, seizes power somehow these will be mandatory in all American homes.